Wondering...

whether it's really such a good idea for a former member of the Hitler Youth to stand on a balcony in front of tens of thousands of idolatrous faithful and extend his right arm...



The Catholic Church sure doesn't need advice from me; it's done OK on its own for the last MMV years. But I think they blew a real opportunity these past few weeks. They had the world's attention and sympathy as they all too rarely have recently. There was lots of talk about how JPII ended communism, mended fences with the Jews, gave hope to the Third World, etc. etc. There was lots of interest in the arcane procedures and politics involved in picking a new pope. Now here's where they blew it. Instead of taking advantage, they lock all the cardinals in a building, swear them to secrecy at the price of eternal damnation, and blow smoke up a chimney. What kind of marketing campaign is that? Meanwhile, the driving forces of Western popular culture are reality/contest TV shows, and blogging. The Catholic Church needs to jump on this, pronto. Can't you just see "The Real World: Vatican City," with cameras all over the Sistine Chapel? Good luck figuring out who the gay roommate is. Or how about "Catholic Idol"? For 13 weeks, papal candidates could celebrate mass in front of a panel of celebrity judges representing all the major world religions, plus a live television audience, with the winners moving on and the losers subjected to stinging criticism from Billy Graham or somebody. They could have had live updates online at newpope.blogspot.com. Or maybe just "Survivor: Rome," where potential pontiffs either complete challenges (water into wine? fishes and loaves?) or get voted out of the Vatican one by one. They could do special episodes of "Punk'd" and "Jackass," showing the higher ranking bishops and archbishops pulling practical jokes, or "Cribs" showing off the rectories and monasteries, or even "Pimp My Ride" with the stylin' Popemobile. They're missing out on some major opportunities to prop up the bottom line and reach out to the younger crowd (without like, you know, actually molesting anybody). Well, the new pope is 78 years old, so they'll probably have another chance to get this process right in a few years.