Sunday, February 12, 2006

As If...

this is the first time Cheney's shot a guy:

Cheney Shoots Man On Texas Quail Hunting Trip
Man Wounded In Accidental Shooting Said To Be "Alert And Doing Fine"

WASHINGTON - Vice President Dick Cheney accidentally shot and wounded a companion during a weekend quail hunting trip in Texas, spraying the fellow hunter in the face and chest with shotgun pellets.
"Quails," huh? So that's what they're calling the poor suckers they're taking from Gitmo and turning loose in Shitsville, Texas for the amusement of the ruling classes.

The Vice President reportedly shouted, "Go fuck yourself," as he unloaded both barrels of his automatic rifle at the man, who, according to a senior administration official, may have ties to Al Qaeda. The victim was said to be in his last throes in a Dallas hospital.

The Vice President reportedly told witnesses he mistook the man for his former Chief of Staff, I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby.

President Bush, speaking from his nearby ranch in Crawford, Texas, defended Cheney's actions. "The Constitution gives the Vice President the inherent power to shoot as many guys as he deems necessary to protect the 'merican peoples," the president told reporters. "We're at war. Shoot first, and ask questions -- asking questions, isn't, you can't -- you can't ask questions if you're shooting, shooting in the war on terror, OK? And I believe that, and so do the Vice President."


[not really]

The sad thing is, shooting old people in the face represents an improvement in this administration's policy toward senior citizens.

Cheney also suffered injuries in the incident, leaving him disfigured:

Dick Cheney, doin' his part to defend the homeland.

Anyway, the last guy to get shot by a sitting vice president wound up on the $10 bill. America...202 years between vice presidential shootings.


Julie Pippert said...

Okay if I were ever to get "peppered" in my chest, cheek and neck with shotgun pellet, I beg all who care and love me to not go on and on about how "fine" I am...sitting in the ICU, with pellet damage. Especially if shot by the VP. Plsy it up, play it up, really.

Boy, they almost protest too much, KWIM?

“He is stable and doing well. It was almost like he was spending time with me in my living room,” said hospital administrator Peter Banko, who visited Whittington.
END quote's not your living room. It's the ICU of your hospital. And he has shotgun pellet in his face, neck and chest.

“It broke the skin,” she said of the shotgun pellets. “It knocked him silly. But he was fine. He was talking. His eyes were open. It didn’t get in his eyes or anything like that.
END quote

Yeah, he's a safe sportsman, except for that guy in the ICU.

Cheney’s spokeswoman, Lea Anne McBride, said the vice president met with Whittington at the hospital on Sunday. Cheney “was pleased to see that he’s doing fine and in good spirits,” she said.
END quote

So glad the guy is FINE.

Or allegedly fine. I might need three or four more quotes from other people about how fine the guy is.

Then again, that is, if indeed he is a guy, who is named Whittington, who is a lawyer, from Austin.

I have my doubts...seeing as how he was a Bush appointee. ;)

Michael Plank said...

Well, I hear that shooting your hunting companion qualifies as a legitimate hobby in Texas, right up there with line dancing, high school football, and sending your less able citizens to Washington!

Julie Pippert said...

This is where your reports are mistaken. Those are lifestyles not hobbies. Well, except for sending the less able citizens to Washington. That might be good strategy; make them someone else's problem. ;)

And for the actually isn't terribly common to shoot one's hunting companions.

Although with lawyers, all bets are off. (Had to get in a slight lawyer joke/dig LOL). ;)