Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Bear Attack! (European Remix)

The Rude Pundit wants to know what's the best metaphor for this recent news story:

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) -- Bears killed and devoured a monkey in front of horrified visitors at a Dutch zoo, officials and witnesses said.

Visitors reported that the grisly scene began as several bears chased the monkey, a macaque, onto a wooden structure at Beekse Bergen Safari Park.

Actually, I was going to write about this before TRP threw it out there as a concept (honest I was! And I knew the chick in The Crying Game was a dude, too!). To me, it works as a re-enactment of Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent's Dinner, only with bears and monkeys instead of people in tuxedos and evening gowns. Think about it: the story here is, well, geez, there's big hungry bears sharing living space with pesky little yappy monkeys -- how long's it gonna take before one of them big ol' bears gets to thinkin', hmmm, them monkeys is good eatin'? That's what bears do! (That and swipe pic-a-nic baskets.) And the fact that there's people watching, gawking, fat and stupid, having paid good money for the privilege, well, that ain't-a gonna stop a bear from doin' what a bear does.

So what happens when you invite Stephen Colbert into a roomful of monkey-like Beltway journalists, including a red-assed, baboon-ish president? That ol' Colbert (get it -- Cole-BEAR?) is gonna eat him some monkey. If people are watching, well, so what? It's not like they're gonna stop him. Mmmmm... tasty monkey. And it's not his fault, either. The blame goes to the dumb asses that put the monkeys in with the bears and charged admission.

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