Round Up The Usual Suspects

This is one of those man bites dog, hoisted upon his own petard, shot with his own gun, little local trifles of a story that, so long as no one gets seriously injured, serves as a spicy dash of seasoning in the polyglot stew that makes up a goodly portion of any self-respecting local/regional newspaper:

A Lancaster County police officer was shot with his own gun just before 1 a.m. today when he confronted a suspicious person in his yard.

East Earl Twp. police Officer Greg Yarbrough, a 6-year veteran of the department, was on duty and heading home to eat when he spotted the person outside his house, police said. Yarbrough's wife was inside the house sleeping.

Yarbrough and the unknown man fought, and the man took Yarbrough's pistol and shot the officer in the leg before fleeing.

Yarbrough was taken to a Lancaster hospital. His wound is not expected to be life-threatening, police said.

So, after confirming that the officer will be OK, we can all shake our heads and chuckle softly.

Now, here's the part I like best:

Police said they have found Yarbrough's weapon and are looking for a white man who was dressed in black or dark clothing.

Emphasis added.

Um, that particular corner of Lancaster County is pretty much the worldwide center of the Mennonite community, and also has a significant population of Amish folks and other Plain Sect peoples. The cops are looking for a white man in black or dark clothing? Just one? OK then, good luck with that.

Look, behind the old man -- it's Aragorn. Oh, and that 's one of the bad guys from Die Hard between the two little kids.

*NO, I am NOT suggesting that any Amish or Mennonite person is a likely suspect (or even -- heh -- Witness); I just think it's going to be awfully hard to pinpoint a real suspect based upon such a generic description, especially in the one part of the world that includes the highest concentration of "Plain People," who typically dress exclusively in black or dark clothing.

Stop The Occupation.