Friday, November 07, 2008

These Go To Eleven

Two of the quotes below are from an actual interview with the actual Alan White, drummer for actual prog-rock legends Yes, in the actual Patriot-News this week, actually. The rest are from This Is Spinal Tap. Which is which?

(1) He died in a bizarre gardening accident.

(2) You can't really dust for vomit.

(3) Well, I'm sure I'd feel much worse if I weren't under such heavy sedation.

(4) He actually died for two minutes, but the medics revived him, so he was pretty lucky.

(5) And, uh, it was tragic, really. He exploded on stage.

(6) Dozens of people spontaneously combust each year. It's just not really widely reported.

(7) I think you always feel like he's in the band. I think he feels like he's still part of the band. He's just not in the band at the moment. Who knows? One day he'll come back and do something with the band.

(8) Well, I don't really think that the end can be assessed as of itself as being the end because what does the end feel like? It's like saying when you try to extrapolate the end of the universe, you say, if the universe is indeed infinite, then how - what does that mean? How far is all the way, and then if it stops, what's stopping it, and what's behind what's stopping it? So, what's the end, you know, is my question to you.

(9) They're two distinct types of visionaries, it's like fire and ice, basically. I feel my role in the band is to be somewhere in the middle of that, kind of like lukewarm water.

(10) No. No. No. I feel it's like, it's more like going, going to a, a national park or something. And there's, you know, they preserve the moose. And that's, that's my childhood up there on stage. That moose, you know.

(11) These go to eleven.

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